That old familiar feeling

January 11, 2013

Entering my studio this morning I pondered upon what I would be spending my day doing… starting a new canvas or working on a medium sized piece that I had started yesterday?  Yesterday, I had spent the day painting the edges of the canvas’ brilliant white, ready for the framing next week or the week after… but on looking at the five canvas’ that I had (thought were) finished two leaped out at me as being very far from complete.

The two pieces lacked texture, contrast and overall depth… what had looked good yesterday looked flat and lifeless this morning.  I knew that I needed to be bolder and not hold back.

An all too familiar feeling started to creep over me, that sick feeling that develops from inner panic.  So often in the past I have had this feeling and ruined the piece, not trusting my instinct and not allowing my painting to flow.

Today I trusted myself.  The battle began.  I still had to go through feeling physically sick at the easel as I felt that not fully in control… but I pushed on through, and the resulting piece is so much the richer for trusting my instincts and painting outside of the comfort zone.

Ten minutes ago I washed the oil off my hands and downed my palette knives and brushes.  I do feel that it is now complete.

Here are the two pictures of the piece that I worked on today… the ‘before’ and the ‘after’.

Dark Peak

Before (above)  and after  (below)

Peak Darkened

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2 Responses to “That old familiar feeling”

  1. Is this an exhibition piece or is it for sale? It has so much energy…love it. Thanks to Jo Bell for sharing and drawing my attention to your blog.

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